More common than you think….


Sexless marriage is more common than you think. Studies have shown more than 5 percent of married couples have gone at least a year without sex. One in five married people surveyed have remained celibate a month or more.

You are not alone.

And wanting to spark that flame is the first step toward reviving their love life.

Pure Romance’s sexual health experts say couples who are open with each other are less likely to remain celibate. We know that our libido shifts throughout life because of biology and also outside stresses, so it’s important to work together to identify barriers to physical and emotional intimacy.

Share your desires and be willing to try new things offered by your partner. Remember that “normal” for you, in your marriage, can be whatever the two of you agree on.

Intimacy won’t be recovered overnight, so make a plan — together! — that gives you time to rebuild that relationship. Schedule dates. Make time to talk and touch one another. Be sensual with each other. No toy alone will fix a sexless marriage, but bedroom aides, whether a simple massage oil or a couple’s game or a new sex toy, are tools for pleasure and relationship-building.

Sex is just one kind of intimacy, but it’s a vital part of a long-term relationship. It’s a unique connection that makes a person feel desired and wanted, and everyone deserves that.

Thanks to our founder, Patty, for the article! XO


Kegel exercise for better sex!

While more research still needs to be conducted to evaluate the effectiveness of kegels on a better sex life, many women and men report that having a strengthened pelvic region can improve their ability to achieve orgasms.

The pelvic muscles are used during sex to create friction and contractions that can lead to orgasm, so improving circulation, sensation, and ability to contract these muscles may be able to help those struggling with having an orgasm.

There is no specific protocol for exercising kegels related to a better sex life; the same method is used as for controlling urine incontinence and for pregnant women.

Some women like to test whether their kegel muscles are become stronger by using a vaginal cone or device that they can practice holding in place with their pubic muscles. Doing this prior to sex can engage the correct muscles and improve blood flow, which may be able to help with an orgasm.


At Pure Romance, we happen to have several options for strengthening your kegels! Like the ultra popular Ben Wa balls.


Dominating your man in bed.

Here are 5 steps to help you get in touch with your Inner Dominatrix, fulfill his kinky fantasies, and get what YOU want while having fun in the process:

1. Don’t fake it, just lean into what feels natural…

The biggest fear most women have is that they’ll have to become someone or something they’re not. You worry you’ll have to dress up in thigh high patent leather boots and walk around the house with a whip, commanding your man what to do. Might be for me, and not you! 😉 If that’s what comes naturally for you, then go ahead! Getting in touch with your inner dominatrix begins simply by getting in touch with your own shy girl desires, and then doing what feels natural for you.

Even shy girls have fantasies and desires. And as I said before, who would not want their very own personal slave at their beck and call? Just about every woman would enjoy being served by her man in some way. So if you have to tie him up and tease him mercilessly, or whip him with a twig from the backyard willow tree, then so be it. Find the fun in activating his turn on, and then use it to your advantage.

2. Honor his vulnerability.

If your man shares his submissive fantasies with you, he’s making himself incredibly vulnerable to you. It’s a sign that he trusts you, or he wouldn’t reveal himself to you in this way. Submitting to a woman is usually not considered ‘socially acceptable’ for a man. So, when he shares his fantasies with you, recognize that he’s exposing a vulnerable side of himself.

Honor this. Do not laugh at him. Do not shame him. Don’t judge his kinky mind or submissive desires. Realize that he’s giving YOU a huge gift by being open in this way and wanting to serve you through his submission.

3.  Receive the gift he’s offering you.

In addition to his service to you through his submission, your man is also giving you the gift of learning to experience yourself in a whole new way. For many women (even with modern feminism) — being in a dominant and directive role in sex can feel unfamiliar, and even scary.

You’re also sharing a vulnerable part of yourself by exploring this new aspect of your femininity and feminine power. Receive this gift graciously. Learn to enjoy experiencing yourself in this new way. Tie him, cuff him to the bed, and blindfold… 😉 You’ll BOTH love it.

4. Keep it safe, sane, and consensual. (And choose a safe word, ha!)

With power comes great responsibility. Ensure that your explorations remain safe, sane and consensual by talking about potential scenarios and scenes you and your partner might want to explore. If you have fears or concerns, talk about them. Clarify your hard limits … what you are (and are not) OK with.

If you’re uncertain about anything, talk to him about it and educate yourself. There are plenty of great resources on the internet. And remember: You never have to do anything that you don’t want to do.

5. Keep exploration contained … at first.

Exploring new sexual terrain can feel overwhelming and confusing at first. Communication is not always clear, and embarrassing moments are unavoidable. You may feel nervous or uncertain. He may feel embarrassed and even ashamed or afraid of what you think of him now.

When branching out of your shy girl shell, create an intentional time and place for this new kind of sex play. In other words, his kinks and fantasies do not have to fill your entire relationship (or play out in every sexual interaction you share). You don’t have to be a full-time dominatrix, and he doesn’t need to be a full-time servant.

Start out part-time. Set aside a few hours or a few days where you play and experiment with your new roles. Giles describes this as a beautiful, fun, and highly effective way to experiment with your inner dominatrix without feeling like you have to be “on” all the time. Plus — I’m just guessing here — but I bet your guy probably wouldn’t make a good full-time submissive anyhow!

Opening the doors to exploring new terrain of sexual expression and relationship dynamics may feel intimidating at first.

However it could end up being one of the best things you ever do for yourself … and for your relationship. When we’re given and opportunity to know ourselves in new ways and to explore new dimensions of our sexuality and relationship (in a way that’s safe and playful), that’s a huge gift.

You go, shy girl, you’ll be happy you tried it!

Thx for the article,!

Get Happy!


Bad moods sneak up on us, and can be difficult to shake! Even as I am writing this article, I am still in the red from an awful traffic event that added 11 minutes to my route into work.

Start the flow of positive energy.
Do something good for someone else! Maybe that’s popping quarters in an expired parking meter or just holding the door for someone, or letting them cut the line.

Do as many jumping jacks as you can!
Get active. Get your endorphins and serotonin UP! (psst, sex helps!)

Play your favorite music super loud.
And while you are at it, sing off key – at the top of your lungs! Let your hairbrush be your mic and dance in the mirror!

Indulge in your “guilty pleasures”.
Maybe that’s chocolate cake, a marathon of The Housewives of Beverly Hills, a cheese plate and a stack of US Weekly magazines. Of course, these are guilty pleasures because we only do them once in a while 😉 Don’t be THAT girl, ha!

Call a good friend and ask them out to dinner or a slumber party. 
A good friend  (and maybe a nice carby plate of pasta) can lift your spirits like no other. Hey, might as well make this a Pure Romance party and invite all your girls!

Movie Marathon!
Best to do this on a Friday or Saturday night (or you’ll be doomed to another grumpy, sleep-deprived day at work). Have you seen Deadpool? Start with that! Do a comedy night, or a chick flick night… whatever you’re needing, delve in.

Do Yoga. Any kind!
Restorative, power flow or kundalini yoga can be super powerful! And it can lead to better sex, jackpot!

Write a list of things that you appreciate right now.
FIND SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR! You might be surprised. Focus intently on each of them and let the light build up inside you. Even on our worst of days, there are always things to be happy about.

Look through old photos of happy times.
This could be tricky. Sometimes happier times are seeing an ex in a pic might catapult you deeper into your dark mood. BUT, having trusty girlfriends there with you may actually help you reminisce about the good old days. “Oh my god, what were we wearing!?” Sometimes looking at fun vacation pics is all you need!

And then…Plan your next vacation!
Honestly, I am so over the moon about my trip to Austin, TX last week that I know planning my next visit will definitely be happening soon!

Remember the best kiss you ever had… or any first 😉
Was it on a beach somewhere? Somewhere in a different city?

Go on an invigorating hike or walk. Surrender & breathe deep.
Few things are as healing as fresh air. My good friend says, “nature = happy” and it’s so true! Stumbling across a waterfall at the Greenbelt in Austin last week after a long hike was so rewarding! How could you NOT take a break, relax in the water, and feel so satisfied and happy afterwards!?

Plan a themed party!
Ahem, or a Pure Romance party! Wine Wednesday anyone? Massage Monday? Invite all your good girlfriends and some new ladies, too! Think about how you can decorate your home in that theme, what dishes you can prepare, and what you will wear…

Try rock climbing, or something ‘thrilling’. 
It’s an amazing workout and you’ll be so, so proud of yourself when you get to the top!

Hit the streets!
Load up your iPod with new music go for a walk through your favorite park or city streets.
Pretend this music is the soundtrack to the movie of your life. Spice up an otherwise boring work day with your favorite Pandora or Spotify playlist! I can’t be upset when Wilson-Phillips comes on, I know that much!

Get dressed up and take yourself out to a fancy lunch or dinner.
Pull that stylish little black number out of the closet and make reservations at the buzzing new restaurant everyone is loving. Top the look off with your favorite creamy lip gloss.

Color your hair!
You can always change it back. Change the style, cut it, add some layers, or highlights! Have fun with it, it’s just hair! And you’ll LOVE the compliments and attention a new ‘do can bring 😉

Make a big filling breakfast!
Top a funny shaped pancake off with your favorite fruit and maybe some organic whipped cream, or feel great about a smoothie w/ chia seeds and protein-packed Spirulina!

Buy ridiculous pajamas 🙂 Or ultra sexy ones!
I always feel great walking in a panties and a tank, with my silky black robe from Victoria’s Secret. How could you not feel sexy!?

Lay in the sun!
Take a deep breath and smile. Get a glowing little tan, relax, and unplug! Keep your tan glowing through the end of summer w/ these fabulous summertime products + tips.

Put pen to paper! 
Make a list of actionable, practical, reasonable ways you can improve your situation
Who can you talk to? What changes can you make? Are there groups in your area you can join?

Hug the friends you see today hello.
Has anyone else heard that 7 seconds is the perfect length of time for a hug!?

Sleep the opposite way or sideways on your bed.
Whenever I do this I feel like such a rogue! You might find it more comfortable or form a new sweet spot 😉

Visit a favorite arts and craft store and make a friend a surprise package.
Doing things for others – especially unexpected things – always improves my mood. Brightening someone else’s day just automatically brightens yours!

Chocolate. Enough said. 

Be optimistic and feel empowered.
Search for the silver lining or a way that you can take ownership of your current situation. Pure Romance’s amazing sisterhood is a great way to get a little cheer and support when you’re feeling down. Hey, its sort of like free therapy!

Change the backgrounds on your phone and laptop.
What about a photo of your friends laughing hysterically or an image that just makes you smile?  What about the beach, or your fav vacation spot, something motivational! Much like changing your hair style or color, small tweaks to your scene can be huge! Mine is my favorite band, it makes me so happy to see an action shot of the lead singer every time I open my laptop.

Treat yourself to a new perfume! 🙂
When you find something you like, ask for a sample, tuck it in your pocket and use it for the next week. Mine is Pure Romance’s Truly Sexy Flirt… big things coming for this scent this August! Truly Sexy Flirt has an uplifting scent of grapefruit and vanilla to increase your happy factor!

Write a handwritten letter to someone.
Whether it’s to tell them thank you, let them know you are thinking of them, or something a little deeper… everyone loves mail, and thats great karma to put into the Universe!

You know that exciting, overwhelming project you’ve been putting off?
Welp, now’s the time to throw yourself into it. It’s good if it feels a tad too big for you! It will be the fuel to your fire for weeks and months to come! Once you whittle it down, it won’t seem so big and scary, and you’ll feel accomplished and better about finishing it off!

Walk around a vintage record or clothing shop.
Imagine all the lives and memories these objects have seen. Add some friends to the mix for an even more memorable outing!

Delve into a good Netflix documentary!
It feels great to learn something new, doesn’t it!? My friend suggested a documentary about the Pyramids, and honestly, I thanked him for it!

(Innocently even…) with the barista, the FedEx person, the front desk cutie- it’ll make everyone feel great!

Be interested.
“Where did you get that?” “How did you learn how to do that?”  It’s a great way to connect with new people + feel inspired!

Be interesting
“Oh, didn’t I ever tell you about the time I hiked Kilimanjaro?” Don’t have a big adventurous story? Mention the cool documentary you just watched or how great you feel after those yoga classes you’ve recently taken up!

Know that this too shall pass.
Really. In a year, you’ll look back and wonder what the fuss was. Time really does heal, as cliche as that sounds!

Climbing up and out of a bad mood is a life skill we should all master. And it can be as easy as laying in the sunshine or giving a real, deep hug. Promise.

Thx for the article! XO

4th of July Sale!!

Each item pictured below is 20% off when you shop WITH ME this holiday weekend… What do you love, what do you need!? Coochy, Body Dew, Men’s talc + shave, Great Head, Basic Instinct, and MORE of our most popular items…! NOW thru 11:59PM, Monday, July 4th!

Want to get it ALL for FREE!? Ask me how =)

Email me at, or comment here. XO